The End

The End, The End. What do I mean?

Am I referring to an end to my blogging days?

or perhaps the title of the latest Black Eyed Peas Album?

*BOOM BOOM POWWWWW*

which strangely stands for Energy.Never.Dies

Actually what i'm referring to, sounds a little like this.

"As we go on, we remember, all the times we, Had together"

Yes, Graduation. The culmination of over 15 years of schooling (personally). Talking about such a topic warrants the use of a quote because I'm very unoriginal. Let's go with.... Aristotle! I heard he was sort of the real deal "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet"

Let's savour that for a moment. OH hilarious, I used the verb savour with a quote containing food.

But I'm not really a fruit lover so we'll even it out with a lesser known persons quote "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success"

So the lesson we have learned today is, if you don't have something deeply profound to say.. perhaps add some humour to it and you too can be found in quotes.com one day.

I didn't really feel that going to graduation was particularly necessary.. I finished uni like last year and didn't feel especially proud or fulfilled, just relieved. My ice-breaker line for the day was.. "erghhh so don't want to be here, it's all for the family hey?" which leads into polite small talk which I don't really enjoy.

Now the thing is, my last year at uni is made part time mandatory... so I did 3rd year part-time, all online. So I haven't seen most of the people that I didn't talk to at uni anyway, so no big loss. It was always my highschool friend Michael and I, so I didn't need to make new friends at uni (complemented by the fact that VU St Albans is very popular with the Filipino Community)

Back, to my point however... it's made part-time online because you're supposed to get a job as a paramedic and study whilst working. I don't think I was ready for that at 20 years of age.. so I've delayed applying. As most of the course were already in the 'ready to work stage'.. they've all got jobs and see each other around.

The whole day I was greeted with expressions of shock and suprise... Brent?! I thought you dropped out! heyyy what are you doing here?? oh yeah.. i thought you quit? ohhh I remember you! well.. not cool.. okay I get it.. you're all working and paramedics and ohhhh so much better than me, try use some tact when talking to me. I believe I'm quite good at reading people and what they're 'really' thinking behind the fake words that come out of their mouth.

But hey.. just take it in your stride.. I think having travelled from the other side of the world a couple of days before would have left me in my fatigued, short tempered mode.. but I think I did a good job laughing it off with them and having to explain exactly what I've been doing for the last two years... again.. and again.

OH let's now move into the actual ceremony part... so much action already in the getting ready phase!! This is a double-feature.

*fast forward x 2 through speeches of how VU is growing, it's future plans, exciting ideas.... (Someone forgot to tell the old guys we're actually 'leaving'... on the way out from VU)*

*fast forward x 10 through us students receiving degrees* (I got in trouble for cheering for Red ... it wasn't very proper like, but this is like muckup day for uni! it doesn't matter if you get in trouble)

The End.

I now have a expensively framed piece of paper sitting on my floor, might put it on my wall... all I need is my mum putting it as soon as you walk through the door, she's already ordered a bunch of photos to send off to Philippines... awesome, family I don't really know or talk to!!

but that was it, the whole day was for my parents... they were so happy and proud and i suppose i owe it to them to just go through the motions and smile. I sort of forgot it was their dream to see my graduate and i'm the eldest, sacrificed and rah rah rah.... i'm happy for them.

after graduation comes work... so i'll let you know how that goes for me!!

Okay bye. The End.

Kanye West feat. Young Jeezy- Amazing

This song was my number 1 played song while in the UK. Strange how songs evoke past memories and emotions, i can still feel myself walking along the streets of Canterbury, stranger to all when i listen to it. Semi-catchy tune, might be a bit slow for some. For me.. the tempo is perfect. Reminds me of a confident swagger.. slowly nodding looking around.. I am better than everyone else- Also seen in the lyrics.. which is why this song appeals to me, it's all about yourself! build yourself up, pump yourself up, sing/rap along, just remember to be thinking of only one person, you are Amazing.

*Watch Video w/ Lyrics Here*

It's amazing, I'm the reason
Everybody fired up this evening
I'm exhausted, barely breathing
Holding on to what I believe in

No matter what you'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can see

It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin'
(Let's go)

I'm a monster, I'm a killer
I know I'm wrong, yeah
I'm a problem that'll never ever be solved

And no matter what you'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can see

It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin'
(Let's go)

I'm a monster, I'm a maven
I know this world is changin'
Never gave in, never gave up
I'm the only thing I'm afraid of

No matter what you'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can see

It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin'

I'm amazin', yeah, I'm all that
If I ain't on my grind then what you call that?
Victorious, yeah, we warriors
We make history, strive off victory

Standing at my podium
I'm trying watch my sodium
Die high blood pressure
You even let the Feds getcha

I'm amazin', born on the full moon
I was bred to get it in, no spoon
That's why I'm so goose, summer time, no juice
Big family, small house, no rooms

They like, oh God, why you go so hard?
Look what he's been through
He deserves an applause

So amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin'

the next logical step

so like all good essays, my introduction is complete (my first blog) and now it's time to get into the body. I think it's only logical that i talk about my latest experience which was two months in the UK. We can start from Day 1 of the trip, but i think it's more important to start from day -42 to around -44. Lying in bed, on my laptop and i realise.. wow this is getting somewhat boring. Check my bank balance which has slowly been dwindling since i left the workforce in Oct last year and thinking how many months can i last with the $3000 left in my bank account. Then up comes the idea of just picking up to UK and visiting my brother from another mother (literally), so send through an email- bro says it's all good, next day buy a one way ticket and there we go. I suppose i didn't wait to think it because i know i would convince myself not to go.

Additionally i'm all for impulse buying, everything i get is impulse buys.. thinking back.. Bedroom furniture, cameras (P&S and SLR both), Plasma TV, Motorbike, Laptop, Car Audio, Fish Tank, Duffle Coats etc etc (there are more) .. but if i don't satisfy my impulses.. i'll be saddened- we can talk about money.. how it come and goes.. can it be measured against the brief or not so brief pleasure from new toys.. but everyones views are different but mine follows the idea that my money=my choice and whether or not you would spend $3500 on a British Bulldog means little to me, as long as i know what i'd do. And yes, if i didn't go UK i'd have a dog already... but poor snatch, aston, chester, t-bone, spencer, kingston ( still yet to decide on a name, i've made a list of about 100 possiblities so far) , will unfortunately have to wait until daddy can afford to get him again. (has to be a male... i am potentially sexist... but i believe honesty>sexism)

Where was i before i left? i finished uni last year.. i've been required to go primary school, highschool, vce, university and then bang.. i can do whatever i want.. which was a big shock to me- so much so i chose to do nothing and basically stayed home for 6 months. Although i'm sure the latter of the months was due to the ending of my last relationship. I technically could have applied for full time work as a paramedic over the last 2 years.. but i didn't, i wasn't ready to be tied down.. it's bad but i believe work to be the bane of my life, i hate being told what to do. So i suppose i was in the worst position i had been in for 2 years, not as bad as where i have been in the past but still an unpleasant time. so time for a change, i needed to break my mentality and did UK do the trick?

*insert two months of things i did/experienced in UK*

Now i'm back and where am i now? i was tired of being a bum in england, having no qualifications (other than a very specific paramedic degree) and being at the bottom of the food chain. After weeks of job searching, resume handing out, job interviews... i realised that it pretty much sucked. Did mention before that i had $3000.... $1200 going to flights etc etc... so i brought over with me 350 pounds. 35 pounds a week went to my brother for food (recession is hurting everyone, even the guys on $100,000+ AUD salaries, congrats to my brother for making something of himself) so doing the math.. that leaves... about 100 pounds ($200) left. I spent that 100 pounds ($200) very very very carefully over the course of 2 months (i didn't just live off my brother either, i paid for the majority of anything i did)... so i spend $200 in one week here so i don't get how that works?

But that's just it... i wasnt going uk for a 'holiday' i was going there to just not be here.. and i thoroughly enjoyed getting to bed early, going for scenic drives, visiting family, just living an english life.. as opposed to simply being a tourist.

So yes.. over there.. i did my own washing (none of my whites are white anymore.. but hey.. i tried), vacuumed everyday (must buy a dyson.. its a manly vacuum), dishwashing (must.. buy a dishwasher instead?) and took the rubbish out everyday (hmm... get a bigger bin? so i take it out every second day perhaps? ) and now i consider myself much more domesticated... well not really, but i have the 'potential' to be.

Well i'm getting bored now, so i'll finish up on coming back. Yes, i planned on staying longer. Yes, it seems like not much has changed since i left. Yes, my plans on staying for a year were scrapped.... but more importantly.. No i couldn't care less if you think it was pointless me going, announcing i was going for longer, think that i'm disrespecting the whole travelling to uk/europe thing. No, i didn't want to go to any other European countries. No, i didn't do as much touristy things that i could do. Whatever you want to do, go do it. Whatever you would have done in my place that i should have, don't tell me. Basically the next person that decides to give me any of the above and any of the same i've received... my patience has worn thin.

On a happier note, the whole trip was a definite positive and i'm now looking ahead to the future.. job wise, health wise, relationship wise.. and a number of other wises that i should be concerned about. So as a last piece of advice i'd like to share. Remember to smile,

I am.

and we're off

So here we go, my first words... i suppose we should take baby steps? but i'm not really one for 'testing the water' more of the 'jump in the deep-end' sort of guy. Now that's interesting, i talk about one thing and it triggers another topic? deep-end.. water.. makes me think of drought and saving water? so i guess that's how this blogging thing works hey? but then... what of my initial idea... i still want to talk about how i rush into things and sometimes spectacularly fail.. eg. getting fit/losing weight/becoming active.. can't just start out lightly, you have to go hard right from the get-go !! and there is my dilemma.. i've now forgotten all the other tangents i could have followed. Maybe i should create some sort of order? Just last night Jenny said there were a number of traits that a paramedic usually shows.. a strong sense of doing things systematically were amongst them and i think that.. unless we're talking about my bedtime routine, i don't fit that profile, but no matter i'm sure we'll work through this.

I suppose i need to ask why am i doing this at all, what is my purpose in writing a weblog.. alleviate boredom? try new things? have a reference to look back on and see how much i have changed days/months/years from now?

If i asked this question yesterday or today.. would i come up with the same answer? strange that there is a chance that i don't know, that i don't really have any particular purpose/expectations, or even if there will be another blog(s) to follow, but i'll have a go and say.. this would be a way to get to know myself better. I have views, opinions, experiences, emotions, questions... all in my head that i may not otherwise come across unless through 'expressing' myself here and actually consciously addressing them.

Well up to you, come along for the ride if you wish.. you can get off at any stop? i'm sure some of the places we go to you may enjoy, find funny, find alarming or perhaps offensive. Maybe i'll share joy, sadness, anger.. I have no idea of what's going to happen myself so just a warning;

Reader Beware.